| Romance Addiction
By Brenda Schaeffer
- Are you easily in love with being in love?
- Do you like melodrama: being a rescued victim or the hero?
- Are longing and melancholy familiar to you?
- Do you gravitate to romance novels or movies?
- Is being wanted extremely important to you?
- Is the attraction phase of a relationship what matters most?
- Do you live in a future of perfected love?
- Do you look for love?
- Are your fantasy outcomes often disappointing?
- Is there a familiar pattern in your selection of partners?
- Do you get high on the rush of intoxicating feelings?
- Do you self medicate with relationships?
- Do you compromise your values when in love?
- Is heartbreak familiar?
- Is your choice of music romantic, dramatic or euphoric?
- Do you wander off mentally or physically when the romantic
high wears off?
- Do you have long distance affairs or affairs with the unavailable?
- Do you have unrealistic expectations of the love object?
- Do you feel anxiety when the romantic object is absent?
- Do you suffer withdrawal symptoms when the romantic object
is not there?
- Do you suffer from depression related to your romantic affairs?
- Do you obsess about love or the love object?
- Do you chase the illusion?
- Do you fantasize about those you are not in a relationship
- Do you find romanticizing soothes you?
- Are you lured by intermittent reinforcement (periodic attention)?
- Have you ever stalked the love object or called to check up
on the love object?
- Does your romanticizing interfere with other areas of your
life: family, children, work, spiritual, relational, financial?
- Do your friends ever confront you on your romantic encounters?
- Do you like living on the edge of perfected love?
- Do you escape through rich fantasy life?
- Do you crave ecstasy feelings?
Check yes or no to the above. These are signs of romance
addiction. 12 or more affirmative answers indicate that romance
is being used like a drug of choice and may be an addiction. Remember
that romance can be a delightful part of our love relationships
and bring out the best in us. It is when we have become over identified
with this experience that it hurts a person.