Romance Addiction Questionnaire
By Brenda Schaeffer
  1. Are you easily in love with being in love?
  2. Do you like melodrama: being a rescued victim or the hero?
  3. Are longing and melancholy familiar to you?
  4. Do you gravitate to romance novels or movies?
  5. Is being wanted extremely important to you?
  6. Is the attraction phase of a relationship what matters most?
  7. Do you live in a future of perfected love?
  8. Do you look for love?
  9. Are your fantasy outcomes often disappointing?
  10. Is there a familiar pattern in your selection of partners?
  11. Do you get high on the rush of intoxicating feelings?
  12. Do you self medicate with relationships?
  13. Do you compromise your values when in love?
  14. Is heartbreak familiar?
  15. Is your choice of music romantic, dramatic or euphoric?
  16. Do you wander off mentally or physically when the romantic high wears off?
  17. Do you have long distance affairs or affairs with the unavailable?
  18. Do you have unrealistic expectations of the love object?
  19. Do you feel anxiety when the romantic object is absent?
  20. Do you suffer withdrawal symptoms when the romantic object is not there?
  21. Do you suffer from depression related to your romantic affairs?
  22. Do you obsess about love or the love object?
  23. Do you chase the illusion?
  24. Do you fantasize about those you are not in a relationship with?
  25. Do you find romanticizing soothes you?
  26. Are you lured by intermittent reinforcement (periodic attention)?
  27. Have you ever stalked the love object or called to check up on the love object?
  28. Does your romanticizing interfere with other areas of your life: family, children, work, spiritual, relational, financial?
  29. Do your friends ever confront you on your romantic encounters?
  30. Do you like living on the edge of perfected love?
  31. Do you escape through rich fantasy life?
  32. Do you crave ecstasy feelings?


Check yes or no to the above. These are signs of romance addiction. 12 or more affirmative answers indicate that romance is being used like a drug of choice and may be an addiction. Remember that romance can be a delightful part of our love relationships and bring out the best in us. It is when we have become over identified with this experience that it hurts a person.




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